Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Every minute that passes seems like an eternity. It’s almost 4pm and the doctor still hasn’t phoned. Forget about Cancer, it’s the suspense that’s killing me! On the plus side, at least the engineer has worked his magic on the heating system! So at least I’m waiting in the warm.
I’m literally sitting by the phone and willing it to ring. After about 3 hours, my phone takes the hint and ding-a-ling-lings. It’s the doctor. This is the moment, it’s all come down to this. I haven’t got very good karma when it comes to getting Cancer news over the phone so I answer hoping for the best, and expecting the worst.
We exchange pleasantaries and then get down to business. There isn’t so much to discuss because, as if by magic, my scan is clear! Relief washes over me in imginary, pink, frothy waves. I’m not totally out of the woods as we’re still waiting for some blood results, which I’ll find out more about when I see the Endo in 2 weeks. What it does mean though, is that the Cancer hasn’t spread and that I won’t need to get my wiggle on in the radioactive room in the immediate future, and that’s good enough for me! I can hardly believe it!
I phone David and my mum to share the good news. I think this week, hell, this year, in fact, this whole cancer caper, has been so much harder for them, than for me. No one wants to watch someone they love battle Cancer. It makes a change to be the bearer of good news. I can hear the relief in their voices and I know they are doing happy dances in their soul.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about the results and over the last week or so, I’ve tried to imagine how I would feel or what I would do in a good or bad case scenario. I so wanted the news to be good but was sure it was going to be bad, so I never really allowed myself the luxury of imagining what it would be like in a scenario such as this!
So for the record, let me say, it feels goooood! So good! I don’t know how long this big, bouncing bubble of happiness is going to last, but I’m going to run with it (literally) and let the good times roll. One thing is for sure, I have learnt a lot from living with Cancer; to truly love my life and the people in it and live every day like it’s my last. I enjoy more and (try to) worry less. Life is for living.
I’ve adjusted to my new reality. Life without a thyroid isn’t so bad and neither is living with Cancer. Nothing in life comes with a guarantee; your job, your friends, your relationships, and of course, Cancer. There’s always a chance it can come back or that it’s still there and being busy in the background, but that’s ok, because if and when it returns with gusto, I’ll be ready!
David comes home looking like Mr Happy himself and bearing a bottle of bubbly. To put one in the fridge earlier would have been a whole lot more organised, but frighteningly presumptious. I’m not a big tempter of fate! Those little bubbles of happiness travel from the bottle deep into our bellies! It’s time to party!
Our friends Sophia and David are getting married in London today. We so wish we could be there but we can’t. So instead, we do the honourable thing, and have some extra bubbles on their behalf!
Now that the results are in and there’s no radioactivity ahead, I am more than happy to eat iodine. And lots of it. I start as I mean to go on, at our local Bavarian Beer Cafe where I tussle with a whole pot of mussels, just for me. This is the life!