I’m planning to lie in but still wake up with the birds, so I get ready for work in the most leisurely fashion, so leisurely, in fact that I’m almost late! However, I still find a minute to drop off some of the Raspberry and White Chocolate Muffins with my local homeless guy. Sharing is such fun and giving is a great way to start the day.
It’s the last day of term today so I’m flat out at work and have to do everything at twice the speed as I have to leave early for my appointment with the Endo. David and I bust a gut to arrive on time, only to find she’s running late which is no drama, it’s just nice to sit down in one spot for a wee while.
Finally, we’re in and we’re on to it. It turns out my thyroxin levels are more than perfect and even though I’m feeling like my levels are too low, Anne says if anything they’re too high! Aaargh! So no more drugs for me, then. She says if we up the dose, I’ll just feel super jittery and lately, I’ve been feeling pretty antsy for no reason, so I don’t need to feel even more anxious than I do already! Anne also explains that some people do gain, or find it hard to lose weight after a thyroidectomy, and that unfortunately, I must be one of those people! Typical! I waddle onto her scales and she’s pretty pleased, as I’m 600g lighter than my last visit 3 months ago but that’s probably because I went for a big wee just before the appointment!
She’s pretty horrified about my WW predicament and very kindly writes me a letter to take along, in the hope that they will recalculate my goal weight, let me continue as a lifetime member and/or just give me a stack load of sympathy! I’m kind of getting my head round it now anyway. I might just have to buy bigger clothes or breathe in alot when wearing my old ones! I can still keep as fit and healthy as humanly possible; continue to put in the hard yards at the gym and watch what I put into my body and eat right. If I pile on some pounds, I’m just going to have to suck it up. Better to be bigger, than sicker, or worse, dead. I’m going to stop moaning and start counting my blessings, of which there are many!
We make plans for the next big block of appointments in June. I’ll have to have a neck ultrasound and a big body scan then, to see what’s occurring with the Cancer. I have to come off my thyroxin for the scan, so I can either go cold turkey, like after my surgery and feel like a dead person, or cough up 2 grand for a special injection called Thyrogen that will allow me to live life to the full and suppress the necessary hormones. It’s expensive but a no-brainer. I can’t imagine being that zombie again and living a half life like that. It makes me feel weak just thinking about it! I’m just amazed that the Australian medical system won’t subsidise Thyrogen in any way. It’s positively inhumane to take people off their thyroid meds and leave them to feel so feeble. It’s not just the time you’re off the meds either, it’s the time it takes you to get back on them and feel “normal.” It totally messes with your body. I don’t care what I have to do, or how hard I have to work, I’m not going back to that.
As I understand it, once we get the scan results, if all is well, things continue much the same. If things aren’t looking that crash hot and the cancer is busy and/or on the move, then I have to get all radioactive again. No drama, sheep farmer! I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. It would be inconvenient, more than anything else. However, we can’t worry about something that hasn’t happened yet, or might not happen at all! As my psychologist keeps telling me, why always look at the worst scenario, when you can look at the best one instead?
After my weigh in, a quick check of the neck, a peek at the scar and the giving of cakes, we’re all done and dusted for another three months, and part company. The appointment is a bit of a reality check really and a stark reminder of what I’ve been through and what’s still to come. Once again, I just feel annoyed. Cancer – you’re so inconvenient. But I’m just relieved that Cancer isn’t the star of the show at the moment and has more of a backstage role.
However, I’m not done with the doctors yet. David and I hurry off to see the lovely GP where there’s more muffin mayhem – I haven’t seen the Friday receptionist before – this is wonderful – a new member on the Feeder Programme! The doctor gives me another Mental Health Plan. It sounds pretty scary but it just allows me some more subsidised sessions with the psych. I have to fill in another one of those mental assessment forms, the results which say I’m severely stressed! Go figure! David has some pain in his knee and gets a referral to see a knee man. What a pair of old crocks!
We get home much later than expected and chill out . We don’t even have the energy for the pub this arvo! I try out a new recipe to put my surplus mangoes to good use; Marmalade Chicken with Mango Couscous and finally, dinner is served, but not before I set the grill pan on fire! Despite my pyrotechnic display, the chicken survives and is really delicious. It’s definitely the hero of the dish. Next time I might pass on the couscous, and just serve the chicken with a nice, summery salad.
Then we veg out on the sofa playing catch up with the plethora of Biggest Loser episodes we have missed! Glorious!
Im ‘ feeling a bit unsetted about what’s in store. If the truth be told, I’d really like to fast forward 3 months and just be done with it all so I can get on with living my life. However, I can’t do that and I’m not going to wish my life away! I’m going to live for, and enjoy the moment, and be happy that I’m feeling fit, happy, cooking up a storm and I don’t have any more doctors appointments for another 3 months! Now that is something to be cheerful about!